


Lead Me Home

by skipper



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Panic Attacks, Possessive Behavior, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:26:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29851149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skipper/pseuds/skipper
Summary: For Briana Daniels, change doesn’t come easy. In fact, it’s nearly impossible. When her brother, Caleb, tells her he’s leaving town for the summer, he begs her to go along. Unwilling to be left behind by the only family she has, Briana begrudgingly agrees to join Caleb and his band on tour. She’s forced unpredictability, unlike the impeccably concise world she’d created.When introduced to the band’s latest edition, a bass player from the opposite end of town, Briana can’t help herself. She’s intrigued. Soon she finds herself moving closer to the stranger, cautiously accepting the companionship he offers. She gradually welcomes the developing friendship, though it goes against everything she knows, inadvertently bringing a change within her.As their relationship deepens, an ultimatum is issued, and Briana has to choose. Either Caleb, her brother and only family, or Harry, the boy who holds the potential to be the home she desperately craves.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s)





	Lead Me Home

They say goodbye is the saddest word. Briana heard it time after time within various conversations, but none significant enough to remember. But she disagreed. In Briana’s experience, goodbye was never the saddest word. Hello was. Hello led to the undeniable hurts, pains, the inevitable betrayals, and eventually to the goodbyes. Because the goodbyes will come, there might be a delay, but they will come, leaving her all alone once again.

This day was no different. Briana sat beside him, listening to the laughter from the playground behind her. She could see the lovers sprawled in the grass in the distance, and she couldn’t bear the thought. Today as she stared into his eyes, Briana knew it was coming. Briana’s heart raced. Goosebumps spread across her arms, not from a gust of wind but the fear of his departure. Her breath caught somewhere between her stomach and throat, holding tight as she waited for him to speak, but much like the other times, he was hesitating.

Caleb’s eyes were closed as his mouth opened, yet no words escaped, only scattered mumbles. He cleared his throat and opened his eyes, staring at her intently. He finally spoke, his voice soft and timid, a side of him she’d yet to see, a wall she didn’t want to see again. He repeated himself, yet she still couldn’t understand the words he said. Their meaning wasn’t something she wanted to hear.

“I’m leaving,” he whispered. He opened his mouth to speak again, yet something stopped him. Briana nodded, unable to mutter anything Intelligible, yet at this point, she was unsure if she wanted to. His hand reached for hers, a gesture almost involuntary for him, but like every other time, she wouldn’t let his hand touch hers. If she did, it would make this all the more real, her loneliness a truth once again. Caleb had become her lifeline since their re-introduction months before. He was a final hope to have someone, something real to hang onto, and he had proven to be it, until now.

“Why?” she asked softly. Caleb shrugged as though he didn’t know, but she could see the lines on his face, lips, and eyes. She could see that he knew. Briana shifted her eyes downward, watching his chest rise and fall. It matched his quickened breaths, as though he was nervous, yet she didn’t understand why. Caleb shouldn’t be scared, as he was the one leaving, just like the rest of them. He opened his mouth to speak, she didn’t want to hear anymore, yet she couldn’t go.

“Bree,” he spoke, his voice almost filled with urgency, and she struggled to pay attention to him. But she felt her stomach plummet as he glanced at his watch. He was leaving soon. Briana felt herself become angry, the betrayal growing. Huffing as she stood, unable to mutter anything else, she glared down at him, but he held his hands up in surrender, standing as he did so.

“No,” she seethed. Her pointing finger shook with her sudden emotion. Caleb’s dark brown hair fell in his eyes, covering the unspoken words in them. She always found the brown orbs comforting, yet now she didn’t. The comfort, the home she’d always found in them, was gone. He was leaving, perhaps forever, she thought.

“Listen, please,” he spoke quietly. Briana stared for a moment, angry eyes scrutinizing his outfit, anything to keep her focus from his eyes. She scrunched her nose as she realized it was undoubtedly from his bedroom floor like most days. Briana had found it gross, but his entire band dressed that way. Their pants hung low on the hips, the t-shirts smaller than hers, and those awful shoes, almost permanently attached to their feet. Briana thought she’d grow accustomed to the style and their ‘I don’t give a shit about anyone but her’ attitude. But staring at him now, she was quickly finding that feeling of disgust again. 

“Why?” Briana asked again. This time she was unable to hide the quiver in her voice. She inwardly cursed herself, Caleb didn’t deserve her tears or anger, yet they were there nonetheless.

“Come,” he urged. Briana’s mouth was open, ready to argue, but she stared at him in confusion as she slowly absorbed his words. He chuckled, though his eyes still filled with worry, “Bree, I want you to come… I have to go, but I don’t want to leave you.”

“But, Cale…” words failing her as she tried to decipher what he truly wanted, “You said--” He shook his head, still smiling.

“We’re going to tour again,” he spoke gently, “And I want you to come.” She nodded in confusion, unsure of what to think.

“And you want me to come?” Briana repeated softly, and he nodded eagerly. She could feel the smile playing on her lips, and though she fought, it wouldn’t stay away for long.

“Of course I do,” Caleb grinned. He reached forward, and instead of shying away, Briana stepped closer. With a slow breath, she let him rest his hand on her forearm, pulling away after a few seconds.

“And they won’t mind?” she asked apprehensively. Caleb shrugged, and her body instantly stiffened. He sighed softly, his breath moving slowly.

“Gabe is bringing Lena,” he explained, and she nodded. “I don’t see why I can’t bring my sister, my flesh and blood.”

“Yeah, something like that,” she laughed lightly, though the sound was shallow, missing something essential. “Talk to them first.”

“I did,” he groaned. “I told them you’re coming. We’re just lucky that Tommy's dad is sponsoring so much of this.”

“Why?” she asked, unsure of the band's logistics, outside of attending their performances. Briana stepped away from Caleb as they started walking from the park, the storm clouds beginning to loom in the distance.

“Oh, he’s going to get us a bus this time,” Caleb grinned. “It’s not going to be like the last one.” She nodded in understanding, though she didn’t completely. They hadn’t known each other then. She wasn’t around for the previous tours and was terrified about being around for this one, yet she couldn’t go, that much she knew.

“Are you sure you’ve got enough money for this?” Briana asked softly, and he shrugged as though money was a trivial Issue. However, she knew from personal experience it was much more.

“We’ve been saving,” Caleb reasoned. Briana instantly wondered how they’ve been saving when they spent the hours after each gig wasting what they’d just made. “Bree, don’t worry, everything will be just fine.”

“Okay,” she breathed, hopefully. She looked at Caleb and found herself believing him. Though, in the back of her mind, she didn’t understand why. He towered over her average frame, and she glanced down, suddenly intimidated by him, a feeling she hated.

“You are coming to the show tonight?” he asked, a sense of hopefulness filling his voice. Briana shook her head, remembering her shift at the hospital later on, and he nodded in understanding.

Not much was spoken on their way back to her apartment. It was just around the block from the house that he and two of his bandmates rented. Out of all of them, Tommy and Mason were the ones she didn’t mind. Gabe was the bandleader, and he held a tight reign over the others. Playing guitar and being the “lead” singer gave one a great deal of power. Eric, his brother, also played guitar, though she never understood why two guys played guitar in the same band. Denny played the bass, though she’d hardly spoken to him. He never stayed after the gigs, and, in her mind, if there were anyone who she thought would leave the band, it was him.

The guys that Caleb roomed with were his best friend, Tommy. He’d been named the guitar technician in the band, among a few other titles, but mostly he was the manager. In her inexperience, he seemed to be there just for the fun of it. Even on the most stressful of days, Tommy was always laughing. She knew he could play guitar and could probably back up Gabe or Eric, not that they would let him, of course. And then her favorite was Mason, who played the piano, keyboards, or whatever was the name of them. He was the only one she knew before she and Caleb reconnected, if you would call it that. Mason used to work at the hospital with her; both stuck in environmental services. One day, he mentioned his drum-playing buddy, and the rest was history.

“You okay?” Caleb asked, shaking her of her reverie, and Briana nodded. She gave him a small smile before walking up to her building steps, waving her hand behind her. She turned once to see him walking in the opposite direction of his house. She sighed as she punched the code on the door of the tattered building. Though it didn’t need a security system, it was there nonetheless.

She trudged up the five stories to her apartment, each step reminding her of the request by Caleb. She didn’t even know when he expected her to leave, and honestly, how could she go? Yes, at the same time, there was no way she could stay. She’d lived in this building for five years. It was the first place she’d found when she initially went out on her own. The manager always seemed to look out for her, though he was never lax on her rental payments. But it was he who, after she’d been late three times in her first six months, helped her arrange a budget, even showing her how to stick with it. She hadn’t been late since, giving them both a sense of relief.

Staring at the one-bedroom apartment, remnants of herself on every wall, in every crevice, it was hard to think of leaving, even If it was for a few months. Briana had enough money saved that she could pay the rent in advance, but she couldn’t just leave her jobs. She’d finally gotten the schedule she’d wanted at the hospital, though occasionally she thought of quitting and maybe going back to school or something. Her hands were trembling at the decision, either one leaving her terrified. She could stay and be alone or leave and venture to this world that she didn’t know.

After calming herself, at least momentarily, Briana showered. She changed into her uniform for the hospital, the navy pants and striped collared shirt they provided, and left the apartment a few minutes early. She decided she wanted to stop at the fast-food restaurant. These minutes allowed her to get to the hospital before the sky was completely dark. It became dangerous then, something she understood far too well. Briana walked quickly across the cement, not bothering to stop for anything but the stoplights. The random cups remained untouched. The homeless pleas ignored as she made her way towards the all too familiar building.

If there was one thing she understood, It was that the littlest thing could make things clear once again. After cleaning up another urine and feces mess at work, Briana realized just how much she hated this job. She understood her disdain and disliked the position. It wasn’t until that moment that Briana breathed. There was so much more out there. Why was she suffering through a job she dreaded before every shift? Even the stifling job at the insurance agency was nothing compared to this work. The only thing that kept her content were the people she worked with, but even they weren’t enough anymore.

The thoughts of Caleb’s offer flowed through her mind as she left with the rising sun, though his words hadn’t left since he’d initially made the offer, or suggestion, whatever it was. But she didn’t want to break out of her familiar bubble. She didn’t know-how. The only things that had changed in the last five years were the days she worked at the hospital. The friends she made were through work and only at the hospital. The snobby twits at the insurance agency were enough to make her want to slit her throat.

Though Briana was usually tired after her shift, this time, she needed the company, not wanting to go to her inevitably empty apartment. It was Sunday, meaning she had the next twenty-four hours off, so she headed to Caleb’s, where they were undoubtedly awake and still drinking. She tried to close her mind off as she walked, but it was to no avail. Both of her options terrified her, though one slightly less than the other. The one constant was that she didn’t know if she could handle him leaving her behind. Caleb was all she had left.

Briana pulled her keys from her pocket as she approached Caleb’s house, as though they would have locked the door. She always feared setting off the security alarm. It was an irrational fear as the thing was installed but rarely used. As she stepped up the porch, the door flew open, revealing Gabe and a girl, not Lena, laughing as they stumbled down the stairs. He stared at her, and Briana nodded in understanding. This scenario was one of the unspeakable treaties that she never signed. Lena was always a bitch, so It wasn’t that big of a deal if her boyfriend was cheating or not.

Stepping cautiously, Bree found her way into the living room. Caleb lay back on the couch, his head hung back in a drunken stupor, though she was aware he wasn’t quite asleep. There were only a few bottles and cans scattered around, a comfortable night in her eyes. She noticed the couple sleeping, more or less drooling, on the floor beside the couch and quickly recognized them as Eric and his girlfriend, Sandy. She shook her head as she rounded into the kitchen, hoping Caleb had something other than liquor in the house.

“I’ve got juice in my room,” Briana jumped at the sound of Mason behind her. She looked to see him, his hair standing on end, his clothes undoubtedly from the night before. However, Mason looked as though he’d gotten some sleep. She chuckled at his state and nodded appreciatively before following him down the familiar hall.

“Fun night?” she asked as they walked. Mason glanced back and nodded, a smile playing on his lips. She shook her head, knowing what the smile meant, hoping she wasn’t about to meet her in his room.

Briana stepped inside the room cautiously, but it was empty, to her relief. She watched Mason grab a plastic cup from a bag and the bottle of juice from the mini-fridge. A few months back, there was a big blowout over a bottle of cranberry juice and its alleged owner. As a result, each of them now kept their juice in their corresponding rooms. She found the entire scenario all too amusing but quickly learned not to joke about It In front of them. They weren’t on the laughing stage quite yet.

“Here,” Briana looked up as she drank the juice. Mason set the spare blanket and pillow in his oversized chair, giving her a small smile. Though she hadn’t felt tired, the sight of it made her eyes begin to droop. Briana finished the last few sips of juice before making her way to the chair, letting her body fall into it. Mason laughed at her antics as she pulled the blanket over her, leaving the pillow on the floor. “I should’ve known,” he laughed as he took the support back. She shrugged, her lips twitching into a smile as her eyes closed, listening to his mumbles but couldn’t quite make out the words.

“Thanks,” Briana whispered, and he chuckled, the sound fading as she drifted off. A faraway thought lingered in her mind that she had never taken off her shoes.

Briana awoke to the sound of booming laughter from somewhere outside the room. She turned in her spot, confused as to why there were people in her apartment, but knew that Caleb had a key. Briana groaned as she stretched, rubbing her eyes, the blanket pooling around her waist as she arched her back. Falling backward in hopes of a few more minutes, but to her dismay, it wasn’t happening. After a few moments of peace, she finally stood, a slow realization that she was in Mason’s room and her face flushed, relieved she was alone. With a final yawn, she slowly began making her way down the hall, towards the voices at the end.

“Sleeping beauty,” she groaned at the sound of Gabe’s voice, all too cheery for the early hour of… oh, well, a glance at the clock told her it was five o’clock. She rolled her eyes as Lena laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. Briana gave him a pointed look, and his eyes hardened. Gabe shut his mouth and turned towards Lena, wrapping his arm around her as though he were the greatest boyfriend.

“Hey,” Caleb spoke up, and she turned to face him. “How’re you feeling? You were _out_.” Briana shrugged, knowing she was tired. It’d been a long night at work.

“I’m surprised you guys are all up,” she chuckled, and Caleb shrugged. Briana moved past him to find the milk, suddenly craving a bowl of cereal. She was pleasantly surprised to discover what she was looking for, including a clean bowl and spoon. She sat at the table with her bowl, and Caleb sat across from her, watching closely. “So when is this said tour expected to start?”

“Oh, uh,” Caleb said, looking taken aback by her question, “We’re supposed to leave a week from Monday, but we’re not sure now.”

“Why’s that?” she asked, taking another bite. Caleb sighed, and Gabe’s voice immediately rang out from the next room, his tone making her cringe in response.

“That pansy-ass bitch backed out,” Briana knew immediately to whom he was referring, yet was still slightly surprised. “Now we have to find a replacement for Denny.”

“Do you think you will?” she asked Caleb softly, and he shrugged. The group sat in silence. The whole place now stifled with Gabe’s anger. Briana noticed that even Lena was now leaning against the wall away from him. She sighed and looked down at her cereal but felt guilty. She may not like the girl, but Lena deserved better than him.

“So, do you think you’ll come?” Caleb asked, bringing her attention back to him. Briana laughed and shrugged, still unsure, more resignations coming to mind, though she didn’t mind the guys now. What about in another month or so?

“How long?” she asked him. He stared at her for several seconds as though deciding on something in particular before answering.

“It’s supposed to cover the entire summer,” Caleb explained, “With what we’ve booked already, through September.”

“Okay,” Briana nodded before picking up her bowl, slurping the last of the milk at the bottom. Caleb suddenly grinned happily, and she stared in confusion.

“So, you’re coming?” he asked, and she shook her head. His face fell, and her brow furrowed in confusion, “You just said okay.”

“In acknowledgment,” Briana explained. She rolled her eyes before standing and leaving him still perplexed at the table.

“You’ve gotta let me know by Tuesday,” he stated, and she nodded, still mulling it over in her head. He groaned, and she rolled her eyes at his antics, knowing they wouldn’t make her decision come any sooner.

“There’s a lot to consider,” she reasoned, and he sighed. “What about my apartment and, like, my bills and stuff? Four months Is a long time to be out of work.”

“I don’t want you to be here alone,” Caleb said sternly, and she rolled her eyes, stepping past him. He reached for her arm but stopped himself, “Bree, listen to me.”

“I will,” Briana groaned, stepping back, moving away from his potential grasp. “I said I’d let you know. I will. On Tuesday.” She turned to see Mason standing before her, a soft look of concern on his face.

“Let him know what?” Mason asked, glancing between the two of us. Caleb responded as she rolled her eyes, “Bree, you have to come. It’ll be awesome.”

“I have a lot of other things to consider, like work and stuff,” Briana explained, a look of realization covered his face. Mason nodded in understanding. Briana glanced back towards Caleb, sighing softly, “I’m going home. I’ll probably call you after work tomorrow.”

“You’re not coming back?” Caleb asked, and she laughed, shrugging her shoulders.

“I honestly just want to sleep,” she responded. “It’s been a long week, and it’s another long one coming.” With a quick wave towards the group, she left the house, thoroughly preparing herself for another twelve hours of sleep before she needed to be up for her next job.

It was nearing midnight when Briana finally made her way to bed, having watched far too many reruns. Amazon was terrific for helping her with her purchases of the series she enjoyed. Briana watched them a lot when she was alone. Caleb didn’t get into shows and didn’t see what she liked about them. Mason pretended to like them, though she didn’t understand why. He never spoke his thoughts aloud instead of becoming fidgety after a single episode.

When she finally lay back on her makeshift bed, Briana’s eyes closed, but her thoughts didn’t cease. In the back of her mind, she knew what she was going to do. She was going to leave. But everything felt so sudden, happening so quickly, but she didn’t know if it was her fears or reality that made her feel that way. Her hands began to tremble as she laid still. Briana breathed quickly as she struggled to control her thoughts, the terrifying realities she was about to face with leaving. Even if it was just for a few months, it was more than she’d done in over five years, and for once, she had no idea what to expect.

After work on Monday, Briana got home to find four messages from Caleb on the machine. The first said that they were canceling the tour, the second to tell her that they’d found a bass player, the third to inform her that he was fantastic. Caleb left the final message to her that they were going on Saturday instead of Monday after Tommy managed to book another gig. She groaned and sighed before picking up the phone, dialing her landlord’s phone number. The decision felt as though it was on a slight whim, a final admittance that she couldn’t bear to be left alone again.

Altogether, the phone calls took relatively little time, considering the large number. Briana managed to finish before the traditional five o’clock deadline. After talking with her landlord, he agreed to let her pay in advance, and he was going to save her mail since she had no one else. It was really a fair exchange, a practice she’d been doing for him, including taking his dogs out, every vacation he’d taken over the last few years. Briana was relieved. Especially when he was only charging her sixty percent rent for the four months she’d be gone, one thing she didn’t need to think about in the coming days.

Once she got off the phone, Briana began sauntering around her room, looking through her clothes, wondering what she should bring. After milling about, she decided on a majority of light shirts and shorts. They were the most comfortable, especially for when the summer air grew warm. She began making piles, trying to decide if she needed to do any additional laundry. In the end, she figured it’d be best to get all the laundry done In the first place. It’d be gross after a while. Briana groaned in distaste as she stared at the pile in the corner, laundry was her one sworn enemy, and folding was even more torturous.

With a defeated sigh and the knowledge that it was her only night off from the hospital before Friday, her inevitable last night. The laundry had to be done today. She hastily grabbed the clothes from the floor, throwing them into the empty hamper on the side, which still sat virtually unused. Briana chuckled to herself after she finished, reminding herself of what a clean room looked like. She certainly wasn’t a messy person per se, but laundry had a way of getting ahead of her. She picked up the phone as she wandered around, getting everything ready, dialing the familiar number as she mentally prepared to give Caleb the happy news.

“What’s up?” he greeted, and she rolled her eyes at his tone. Caleb was undoubtedly trying to impress an unsuspecting member of the opposite sex. He often used the ‘protective slash loving slash caring’ brother card, not that she really minded by any means.

“What time and where on Saturday?” Briana asked absentmindedly. She threw her laundry soap and dryer sheets into the top of the hamper, suddenly regretting having let the pile grow so big. It was going to be hell to carry down the stairs.

“Are you coming?” Caleb asked, his voice struggling to hide the excitement, certainly for her benefit. She mumbled to herself before finally stating the affirmative.

“Yeah, just doing my laundry now,” Briana answered, laughing slightly. Caleb called out to someone in the background, his bandmates, she presumed, and when she heard Mason’s voice, it was confirmed.

“You want me to come to the laundry mat with you?” Caleb asked, and she rolled her eyes at his protective tone. She’d been going to the same place for four years before they’d even met. She was fine doing it now.

“Nope,” Briana responded, popping the p. He groaned, and she chuckled at his response. “I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you later this week. You can help me decide how much to bring.”

“I don’t know how much,” Caleb suddenly laughed. “I’m not a girl.”

“Ugh, you’re no help,” she heaved. “How many bags is Lena bringing? You should find out for me. I don’t want to over-pack.”

“Okay, fine,” Caleb reasoned with a sigh. “I’ll ask, but whatever I tell you, pack half that, and you’ll be good.”

“Nice,” Briana shook her head, understanding precisely what he meant. “So are you gonna give me a time and place, mister?”

“Sure, sure,” he muttered. Briana heard whispering and laughed, of course, he wouldn’t know already, “Seven a.m., just meet at my house. We’re riding over together.”

“Okay,” Briana chirped. She felt momentarily excited, though the foreboding still lingered. She took a deep breath, letting go of the inhibitions, reminding herself to accept whatever was to come. He wasn’t leaving her.

Briana set the phone in its holder once they hung up and grabbed her purse and keys that sat beside it. Carefully maneuvering herself, she managed to get the hamper out of the door while holding onto the keys. Her bag nearly fell out of her mouth with the quarters weighing it down. Groaning as she locked the doors behind her, she stared at the ominous stairs, wondering if this was a sign she was making the wrong decision. Her body trembled at the thought of being left alone. She knew she was growing more comfortable with the idea of going, and that almost scared her more.

Her legs were burning by the time she’d made it to the laundry mat down the street, cursing herself the entire time. She struggled with the door, though was pleased to see the place virtually empty, unlike the last time she’d come. It had been a Saturday afternoon, but much like she usually did, let the laundry pile up, and she didn’t have a choice. But tonight, it was already past dinnertime. The only other patrons were a boy her age in the corner reading and Tom, an older man who seemed to live there, though she was sure in some sense, he did.

Briana loaded the clothes in two washers in her familiar spot, directly in the middle on the left side. It was the perfect place to keep an eye on her stuff while she wandered to the vending machines or to talk to Tom. She’d never had clothing stolen, but she knew from Debbie, the owner, that it did happen occasionally. She wasn’t stupid enough to put her guard down. She sat down after putting her quarters into the machines, pulling her puzzle book from her purse, her only reason for actually bringing the dreaded thing.

“Excuse me,” Bree jumped at the sound of the voice beside her. She looked up to see the younger boy beside her. He stood a few feet away, and he stared sheepishly as though he’d just finished sticking his hand in the cookie jar.

“Yeah?” Briana asked, waiting for him to tell her why he was standing beside her. His face flushed slightly, and he held out two bills towards her.

“Would you have enough quarters for two?” He asked, and she nodded, having learned long before always to bring spare change. Briana cocked her head to the side as she grabbed the eight quarters, carefully dropping them into his hand as she accepted the two crumpled dollar bills.

“You do realize that Debbie could’ve changed you out at the counter?” Briana reasoned, and he chuckled before her, smirking slightly.

“If I actually needed the quarters,” he grinned, “Then I might’ve done just that.” Her mouth opened slightly, watching as he walked away, his cocky stance undeniably annoying her.

Though Briana was concentrated on her puzzle, her eyes still glanced towards him every few moments. He sat in the same chair, his feet on the seat across from him as he rested his elbows on his knees, reading his book. After several minutes, Briana looked again, and with the look on his face, she realized he knew that she’d been looking. Briana bit her lip, struggling to hold in a smile, suddenly feeling like a child about to be scolded. She jumped at the sudden sound beside her and looked to see him grinning as his chair scraped against the floor.

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Briana lied, staring back at her puzzle but felt unnerved by his presence. She filled in another answer and could feel him looking, though she didn’t acknowledge it. After a few moments, Briana grabbed her purse from beside her. She stood, moving towards the soda machines on the side of the building. Her eyes glanced towards Debbie, already knowing the older woman kept an eye on him for her.

“He botherIn’ you?” she asked as Briana approached the counter, soda, and chips in hand. She shook her head, chuckling slightly.

“Nah, I can take of myself,” Briana grinned, and the older woman nodded in understanding. “Thanks, Debbie. Actually, you should know, this is going to be my last night here for a while.”

“Why’s that?”Debbie asked, glancing back towards the far side of the wall. Briana looked too, but he seemed actually to be reading his book this time.

“My brother’s bringing me with his band,” she explained, an odd smile coming to her face. It was terrifying to admit she was leaving for the entire adventure.

“You sure about that?” Debbie asked, and Briana shrugged, unable to hide her feelings from the older woman. Briana understood her completely after all Debbie had done for her. The older woman had found her apartment after taking her in for a few months beforehand without question.

“I’ll keep in touch,” Briana assured her, giving her a soft smile. Debbie’s hand reached out, touching her arm, and she tensed at the contact but relaxed after a moment before pulling away.

“Just be careful,” Debbie said gently, and she nodded. Briana didn’t look at her, feeling the scrutiny in her words. It wasn’t something she felt comfortable with.

“I still have my apartment,” Briana responded with a smile, “So I’ll be back.” She glanced at the loud buzzing sound and knew her washers were done.

Briana took the purchases in her hand and gave Debbie a final smile before walking back, unsurprisingly feeling tense once again. The thoughts of leaving this place. She hadn’t left since first arriving the years before, and she was finally doing it. There was no backing out. There was an insatiable feeling of apprehension, but there was also excitement, an unexpected sense of excitement. It was all mixing, and Briana wasn’t sure which she should be listening to. There was a constant whirlwind of emotions going through her mind. She struggled to decipher each one and inevitably evaluated its meaning, much as she often did.

“Something’s got you perplexed,” the boy mused when Briana returned, though he hadn’t looked up from the book. “Either that or you’re constipated.”

“I’m just figuring out which method of castration leaves the smallest mess,” she returned, unable to hold in her smile as she moved her clothes from the washers to the dryers.

“I’d say the _not_ doing it method,” he chuckled, and Briana glanced towards him. He held his hand over his chest as though this were a deep, insightful discussion, “In my humble opinion, of course.”

“And you have experience in this?” she asked, glancing below his waist unabashedly. His face flushed, and she grinned as he struggled to speak, obviously still trying to be smooth. His machine beeped at the end of the line, and he backed away before responding, and she sensed a bit of relief from him as he turned. After starting her dryers, she was surprised to see him walking back towards her. Briana leaned one hip against the metal as she smirked, “Someone’s feelin’ confident today, isn’t he?”

“Eh, it’s worth a shot,” he grinned, retaking his seat beside her, though she noted that he left his book down at the end this time. He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back, his face turned towards her, “I can feel I’m crashing.”

“And burning,” Briana returned with a smile. She put her puzzle book back into the purse, finally admitting she hadn’t been doing any of it. Briana leaned back in her chair, her position matching his, “Your clothes aren’t dry yet?”

“Nah,” he shook his head, his lips holding back a smile, “Needed another round.”

“They did, or you did?” she asked, and he chuckled.

“Both, I suppose,” he glanced towards her, their eyes locking briefly before he looked down. “I’m hoping they finish soon. My favorite movie is coming on tonight.”

“What’s that?” she asked, intrigued.

“Don’t laugh,” his face suddenly flushed, and she grinned, pleased with his sudden embarrassment. She nodded, encouraging him, and he took a slow breath before speaking, “The Jerk.”

“Seriously?” Briana asked, and he nodded sheepishly. She chuckled and stared ahead before speaking again, “You know, for one dollar, I’ll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.”

“I was born a poor black child,” he returned, an undeniable laugh in his voice. “You like that movie?”

“It’s not my favorite by any means,” she reasoned with a shrug. “It’s Steve Martin and incredibly stupid, but fun to watch. I honestly haven’t seen it in ages.”

“So, what’s your favorite?” he asked. Briana glanced briefly. Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought it over, her lips pursed to the side.

“I’ll have to go with…” she thought again, laughing slightly as she struggled to respond. “Okay, either Frailty, the greatest ending ever. Or Return to Me, I suppose,” she turned to him and pointed with her finger, “but if you tell that to anyone, I will have to kill you.”

“I don’t even know what it is,” he laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. He stared pointedly as Briana faced forward, “You gonna tell me?”

“Oh,” she realized what he’d been waiting for. “It’s a romantic comedy and, to anyone who knows me, not the type of movie that I like to watch.”

“There’s nothing wrong with those,” he reasoned, and Briana cocked an eyebrow in his direction. “What? I’m just saying.”

Briana chuckled, and he rolled his eyes. Her eyes scanned his body, taking in the sight of his ratty jeans that sat low on his hips, certainly too tight for her taste. His white v neck shirt revealed a few stray hairs, which he’d covered with the ugliest leather jacket she’d ever seen. She liked his glasses, but his hair was covered by this snow hat thing, unsure about that in May. Still, all in all, she deduced that he probably wasn’t gay but was most likely single and living alone.

“So what do you do besides hang out at the laundry mat?” he asked, shaking her of her thoughts, but her dryers buzzed, saving her from answering any questions. Briana began taking the clothes out, throwing them into the hamper without folding them, knowing she could do it later.

“It’s been nice talking to you, kid,” Briana turned after closing the hamper tight. With her purse in hand, she patted her pocket, ensuring it still held her keys. She picked up the hamper, giving Debbie a final wave with her free hand as she headed towards the door, pausing only his voice rang out.

“Uh, hey,” he said awkwardly as he approached, and she watched as he bounced on his heels, his hands tight in his pockets. “Um, what if…”

“It’s okay, kid,” she shook her head, opening the door. “As much fun as it is to watch you choke, I’ve gotta go. Things to do.”

Upon returning home, Briana found another message from Caleb, this one letting her know what to pack and what not to. She figured it’d be best to do it then, on her free night, rather than waiting. Briana needed to stay up anyway to prepare for her shifts the rest of the week. She managed to figure out what she needed more of and what she didn’t. Briana still had a few days but knew the following days would be filled with explaining and apologizing to her managers. She was preparing to leave jobs that she’d held onto for five years. The burden of her choice weighed upon her, and she was still questioning if she could handle it. In the end, she was relieved that she had so many distractions to help keep her mind off it. 

Briana felt like a child leaving for college or home for the first time, except she had no choice but to leave. She couldn’t bear to have him leave her alone. She didn’t have anything else left outside of Caleb. A part of her was desperately hanging onto what he provided her, though she couldn’t actually name what it was. She fell back onto her bed with a loud groan, turning once to flick the switch on the alarm clock, preparing for the coming day. Her eyes closed tight as she struggled to remain calm but was asleep before she could think about it anymore.

The following days turned into a giant mesh. Her packing became complete with a few trips to the store. She stocked up on the essentials and made a first aid kit, including the basic Ibuprofens and Sudafed’s, preparing for anything that might arise. Work became a matter of saying the last of her goodbyes at the hospital. They pretended to be sad to see her go. She turned in her badge at the insurance agency Friday afternoon, feeling a sense of relief as she left the building for the last time. It was quite the opposite at the hospital. Despite the job responsibilities, Briana felt a deep sense of sadness. She turned in her uniforms at the end of her shift Saturday morning.

When Caleb initially told her they were leaving at seven on Saturday morning, she hadn’t stopped to think that her shift ended at six. It only allowed her an hour to get home from work, shower, change, and leave again for his house. She knew this time it was she who was going to be late. She was really counting on his tardiness, hoping it’d give her a few minutes.

After getting out of the shower and throwing on the clothes she’d set out, Briana quickly cleaned out the fridge, dumping anything that could go bad into the garbage bag. She mentally reminded herself to throw in the dumpster on the way out of the parking lot. She left a note for her landlord thanking him again and giving him the number to the minute-to-minute cell phone she’d purchased. It was her first. She’d never needed the mobile device before, though Caleb always that she was crazy. Still, as Briana made the final preparations to venture towards her half-brother’s home, she knew this was the start of something completely crazy. But she was excited.

**Author's Note:**

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